Yesterday night.

Yesterday night I cried, I wept,
I lay in bed feeling alone,
Yesterday night curled up, I slept,
Hurt everywhere was all that was shown.

Today I thought things would get better,
That maybe you see what I saw,
Patience, I wait, just to see whether
The cold in you would thaw.

Tomorrow I don't know what would happen,
The future I cannot see,
Who knows, maybe, my face still ashen,
As again you let me cry, let me be.

But I'm not a boy.

Been working at Dorothy Perkins again. GOD, it's been hectic. Haha. So we have to play music there right, and a collegue burns Beyonce's shizz. I never really payed attention to the If I were a boy remix til now. DEEP. The whole song reminded me of my relationship with Fawzan. I mean, I thought the song was so true as it originally was, but then we get the other perspective in the remix. It just hit me, so randomly, like that. Haha. The line that did it was "You are not a perfect woman, AND I am not a perfect man". I think a girl's insecurities shouldn't get in the way of a relationship. And if the guy really loves you, you're bound to realize that in time. :)

New Years Resolution.

Happy New Year, all! OMG, we'll all be getting a year older and the zombie apocalypse is not far away :O Haha.

Anyways, I really think that I should do something about my whole fashion dream thingy. I think it'll be great if I could just start with learning how to sew, from there, I'll just practuse and start making the simplest of my designs. :D

Apart from that, I'm also gna start saving more, for when the rainy days are BOUND to come.

AND, I'm wna make sure that I'm gna be a better daughter, sister, friend and last but not least wifey, to all my very much loved ones.

Peaces in!

Half my heart.

I'm doubtful again. After thinking that it was all OK now. IDK anymore. I don't think he wants to go to Melaka with me. Idw to go anymore :(

Hungover and bruised.

JUST got better from me hangover. My parents weren't home over Friday night, and as any normal teenager would, partying would be on my mind. Haha. I haven't drank like that in sooo long, you have noo idea how OUT I was. :pp Suprisingly, I remember everyone's faces AND names. Haha. But the next dayy. OMG, I've never felt so icky in my life before. I woke up with a swolen fist, my hands in general were swolen, hitting GOD knows what. -.- But overall I had a good time :DD You're only a teenager once yow, and next year would be the last year :(

My morning hair, part III

GOOD MORNING, peeps :D Just got home from hopefully having my last driving lesson. I think I feel pretty confident now. Was a wreck last week, it was ridiculous. I cried my eyeballs out when I was otw home. I FAILED my road test, and the 3 FREE marks that I could've gotten were not marked. WHY? - not because I didn't do it, but because the guy testing me was an ASS. :D I'm praying really hard tomorrow's examiner will be nicer atleast. Then that way, I wouldn't be freaking out as much if the speed meter isn't working again - yes, it was friggin broken WTH. The whole damn time I was driving, the arrow stuck at 0. Oh the irony of it all. So fingers crossed for me tomorrow! Another rm270 to get this shit done. And I better get my pass tomorrow or I swear I'd start flippin' balls yows. GRRR angry. Haha. Peace IN :D

With my eyes closed.

Everything feels so much better with my eyes closed. Problems seem to dissolve, friendships and relationships are mended automatically. I drift off to sleep cos I'm just too tired. I feel him there, around me, holding me. I'm in my own world. And I don't ever want it to end. Opening my eyes again is sheer torture. I feel lonely. No one knows that, but I do. Should anyone this young be subjected to that? :s

I hate it. I miss my friends, my family. I feel as if I'm so outside nowadays. Especially when it comes to a certain clique of his friends - I've never felt like such an outcast in my life. Even primary school wasn't as bad. I thought things would be better by now, given that we're coming 8 months now, but they still make me feel like I'm the lowest living organism that can be found on the face of this world. Either they look at me with THE most disgusted expression on their face or they don't look at me at all, as if I've never existed to begin with. It sucks. Apart from that, I feel like alot of my friends have forgotten me. They're living their own happy lives with everyone else - The people that I cherish and hold so close to my heart. I'm not asking for presents or anything, just a ring maybe? :( Idk. Who am I to say anything anyways right?

Life isn't thaat bad though. Haha. I've been going on "road trips" and picnics with baby, Sasa and Brandon. I think that's the only time when I get the same feeling as when I close my eyes. It's nice to have a time where the people I'm with enjoy having me and my boyfriend at the same time. People don't really understand. :(